Jealousy

I am so angry I can barely speak but this needs to go on the track record for future generations of cat super-models so that they can learn from my experience.

See the photo above? See me in it? Or see just the part of me with the rest of my body partially obscured by this model?

Well she did that on purpose! She was pretending to be trying to get herself to look sexy and attractive by flicking her hair, but really all she was trying to do is block me out of this photo. And all because she was jealous of me and the fact that I was far better looking than her and a lot more famous than she'll ever be.

In the next photo you can't even see me at all!

That's because after the first photo was taken I was so angry with her that I scratched her on the face and they decided to ban me from taking part in the photo-shoot altogether. I don't feel proud of this act, but I was just so angry with her and that photographer wasn't seeing my side of the story at all. I think that might have something to do with the way the model was posing, I think he was finding it attractive or something.

In the end they've decided not to publish these photos in Vogue at all, apparently they decided that the photos without me in it are just not worth publishing.

Serves her right, she'll know better next time not to mess with me.

Can't talk now, still recovering

Too tired to write. Need to nap. Need to eat a lot to replace all the calories I've lost after dancing all night. Need to change my mobile phone number after giving it to someone I don't want to go out on a date with. Need to get to the hairdresser to get some serious grooming for my fur after all the make up I was wearing for the party has made it look dull and without my usual healthy looking shine. Need to stop partying so hard and start having quiet nights in, reading books or knitting or something.

Anyone know a good cure for hangovers?

Things you do for your best friends

I'm a bit embarrassed to talk about this but I guess you'll get to find out about it in the news and fashion forums about this soon enough anyway so I might as well give my version of the events.

Kate (Moss that is) and I were doing this photo-shoot and she got to wear this pretty dress you can see in the photo.

"I really want to keep this dress but they won't let me, it's so unfair." she whispered to me while I was trying to pose for the photo.

As Kate is one of my best friends I really wanted to do something for her and decided to scratch it a bit thinking that if it's ruined they won't be bothered about keeping it and might let her have it.

Unfortunately the photographer saw me do it and immediately accused me of ruining the shot and the dress. I kept pretending that it wasn't me and that I knew nothing about this but it was too late, he caught it all on camera.

Kate got to keep the dress but I was punished for this whole thing by being photoshop-ed out of the final editorial that was published in all the major fashion magazines and this photo is the only one left.

Kate told me not to worry, she's taking me to Paris next week for an amazing editorial photoshoot and an all weekend party!

Result.

Sometimes it can be tough even for me

It's been a tough week for me. I've had to do this photo-shoot for lingerie company and the model I was working with made me feel so insecure about my looks that I just couldn't face revealing more than my head in the photo.

I had to hide most of my body behind that sofa arm even though the photographer kept asking me to perch gracefully on the  arm of the sofa and look mysterious.

Well, peeping behind the sofa arm was as mysterious as I could get that day. All I could think about was getting over and done with this shoot and heading home to have a nap think about my future as a model. 

Do you think I should keep modelling?

She should never have asked

I get asked by so many models what makes me so special that I get picked for Vogue cover over and over again. "What is your secret!?" they'll ask frustratedly and fail to remember that just being me is the secret.

The other night, at this posh party, one of the models kept asking me to give her advice (based on my extensive experience) how she too could get at least one photo-shoot for Vogue.

I was desperate for my evening snooze and she was really in my face so I got really annoyed with her and just wanted to get rid of her.

Look, I was tired and I just wanted to have a well-deserved nap, ok?

After my nap I was on my way to the bar to get a refreshing glass of champagne and I couldn't believe what I saw:

I wish humans would stop aspiring to be more like me, they clearly can't handle it.