Quick post, I'm very, very busy tonight

I can't believe you internet people couldn't keep a secret about my invitation from Brad Pitt to be his special guest at tonight's Oscars Party. All of my modelling friends have been pleading with me to take them with me and all the major newspapers and TV stations just wouldn't leave me alone!

Photographers have been constantly trying to get a photo of me and one of them even broke into my apartment the other day when I was trying to get some much-needed snoozing on my favourite cushion at home.

I don't even want to talk about the midnight phone-calls I've been getting from Angelina, she just can't accept that Brad would rather take me than her to this event.

Anyway, must dash, I've got to get some grooming done before Brad picks me up in his limo. Maybe I better sharpen my claws too, it might just come in handy if Angelina decides to come along tonight.

And please don't bother coming back here after tonight to find out how my night with Brad went, you'll just have to wait for my auto-biography titled "My brilliant and exciting life" to come out and find out.

Lies and dishonesty

We were getting ready to do this glamorous photo-shoot for Vogue the other day and the model next to me just couldn't stop fidgeting and I could even see that she was starting to sweat! When the photographer asked her to take her hand out of her coat she simply refused and said she was really itchy and needed to keep scratching herself.

As I was starting to get bored with this photo-shoot I thought I would speed things up a little and give her a little scratch with my claws. She then started to scream and as she started flapping her arms around something fell out of her coat onto the floor. I picked it up and realised it was an invitation to this year's Oscar Party sent to me by Brad Pitt!
(Just in case you don't know who Brad Pitt is here's one of the photos I've taken of him when he came around to my house for a game of chess and some pie few days ago):

Who did she think she is? Did she really think that Brad would ever want to take her to Oscar party instead of me? I mean, she's nowhere near as good looking and glamorous as me, what was she thinking? Was she thinking at all!?

Humans will never cease to amaze me with their arrogance.

I deserve better than this

I've been in such a bad mood recently I couldn't even be bothered to pose for the last photo-shoot and all because I'm still fuming about the lack of generosity in response to my emotional appeal. 

The cash gifts that were sent to me hardly amounted to half a million dollars, and  most of the home-baked cream pies that some of my fans sent me were made with this disgusting thing called "low-fat cream" that just wasn't good enough for someone with such a sophisticated taste like I have, so they all ended up on the dinner plate of my owner women I live with who didn't seem to care and eat them all anyway, but then again she's a human so you can't expect anything better, can you? And here's a question for the joker who sent me this self-help book called "How to get in touch with your inner most feelings and learn to love yourself again" - what are you trying to suggest?

I'm too angry and disappointed to write any more on this topic, I'm off to Paris now to do a photo-shoot for Vogue and there better be some decent presents waiting for me when I return.Otherwise I won't tell you any gossip from the party at Kate Moss' house I went to last night. Don't say I didn't warn you.