So unfair

I've just got back from another fashion photo-shoot and I'm still in shock. This model I was working with asked me if someone called Santa brought me any brilliant presents for Christmas and I was really confused because I never heard of this Santa before.

She then explained that this Santa person brings presents to everyone who behaves really well all year round so I was even more confused because I am an example of good behaviour! How come he never came to visit me then!? Just read all of my posts here and you'll find nothing but kindness, generosity, hard work and self-sacrifice demonstrated by me. If I don't deserve free presents then I really don't know who this Santa thinks he is?

To show your support for me against this great injustice feel free to send me as many presents as you like: cream, pies, fresh fish (I prefer the more expensive kind, thanks), comfy cushions and blankets to snooze on and a free holiday in Caribbean will all be generously accepted by me.

Please don't send me any cheap stuff or things like books, I really don't have time for that kind of nonsense.

Thanks.

Oh yeah, and Merry Christmas. Or whatever.

It was all her fault

I don't know why I've been paired up with yet another nearly-naked model for the last photo-shot after my traumatic experience from last week, but it seems that they wanted to test my limits again this week.

This model, who was only wearing this silly red underwear, was meant to cuddle me and make me look even cuter than I already am (hard to believe that's possible I guess, but whatever). So we started to pose for our photographer and this model kept holding me tighter and tighter and I just didn't like it so I kept wriggling and fidgeting so she would ease up her tight grip on me.

"But I'm freezing cold, please let me hold you closer to me." she whispered in my ear while shivering with cold.

I wouldn't have any of it of course and I kept fidgeting for the rest of the photo-shoot until they made her put a nice thick cardigan and some wooly socks on and we finally managed to get the photos done that were published in all the major fashion magazines.

She was really upset with me for making her look like an old granny and told me she would never work with me again. As if I care.