I've been in such a bad mood recently I couldn't even be bothered to pose for the last photo-shoot and all because I'm still fuming about the lack of generosity in response to my emotional appeal.
The cash gifts that were sent to me hardly amounted to half a million dollars, and most of the home-baked cream pies that some of my fans sent me were made with this disgusting thing called "low-fat cream" that just wasn't good enough for someone with such a sophisticated taste like I have, so they all ended up on the dinner plate of my owner women I live with who didn't seem to care and eat them all anyway, but then again she's a human so you can't expect anything better, can you? And here's a question for the joker who sent me this self-help book called "How to get in touch with your inner most feelings and learn to love yourself again" - what are you trying to suggest?
I'm too angry and disappointed to write any more on this topic, I'm off to Paris now to do a photo-shoot for Vogue and there better be some decent presents waiting for me when I return.Otherwise I won't tell you any gossip from the party at Kate Moss' house I went to last night. Don't say I didn't warn you.
